WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD ONLY 5 MINUTES TO LIVE?

The terror starts when Jaime (Brandon Fobbs, The Wire) gets a panicked video from his best buddy, Freddie (James Snyder, Broadway’s Crybaby), about an insane chain letter that was e-mailed to him…It is a snuff video that warns the recipient that they have 5 minutes to pass it on or they will die.

As Jamie watches, a figure in black breaks into Freddie’s room. His face is hidden but not the machete-sized knife he carries in his hand. Before Freddie can react, the figure slits his throat. A horrified Jamie watches helplessly as the figure leaves, his dead friend Freddie laying sprawled across his desk. 

Before he can move, a new message appears on his screen. It is Amelia (Madeline Zima, Californication), their mutual friend. She’s gotten the same message and seen the same murder. She is just as terrified and confused as Jaime, but it’s nothing compared to what they feel when a time clock appears on their screens. It says they have five minutes to pass it on…the clock already ticking down. 

They stare at each other through their webcams, trying to figure out how to save their lives as the seconds rush past.

Also starring Kevin Daniels (Ladder 49, Their Eyes Were Watching God).

America’s Bad Kids LOVE wrestling. We especially love great bad guy wrestlers like The Hot Scott, Rowdy Roddy Piper. He had a great career of pissing off wrestlers that the GOOD kids like such as Hulk Hogan.

Last night it was revealed that Rowdy doesn’t just play a bad kid when he is wrestling but he is actually a bad kid in real life. Here he is on stage with bad kid rappers, The Insane Clown Posse smoking pot.

Frank Henenlotter

The New York Horror Film festival was held this past week at the Tribeca Cinema. The big winner was Bad Kid favorite Frank Henenlotter. He received the Lifetime Achievment Award and the award for Best Feature for Bad Biology. He was the first person ever to get a Lifetime Achievment Award and have a film in competition win. Check back here for my interview with Uncle Frank and read the blog about John’s Henenlotter History.

Frank Henenlotter wins best feature

The Hyaena Gallery in Burbank California was the very first place America’s Bad Kids visited. We’re going back there and this time we are going to meet some of the awesome artists who supply the art for the gallery that the bad kids like. Here are some of the guys we are going to be talking to.

DW Frydendall is a horror comic artist. You already saw him in my cottonmouth.tv Halloween special. He and I have a BBQ. It is awesome.

The Big Tasty is the awesomest artist ever. He did a portrait of johnny when he was offering his $21.65 doodles.

Clint Carney is an LA musician and artist. He is a big horror fan and pretty awesome also.

Chuck Hodi is is an LA based artist who paints portraits of all kinds of bad kids. Johnny owns two prints of his Anton Levey paintings.

We’ll be talking to more artists. We also will be discussing a few wenises claiming that the Gallery is peddling child pornography. Johnny, Steve Niles and DW Frydenall are going to call some bitches out.

There are some people who call Repo! The Genetic Opera “The new Rocky Horror Picture Show.” I say GOOD! This film is much better. Repo! The Genetic Opera is the fourth directorial outing by Darren Lynn Bousman. Bousman is best known for directing Saw II, III, and IV. Repo! couldn’t be further away from the Saw films in every possible way. I was greatly impressed by the film’s ambition. I do feel the storytelling was a little lacking at times but awesome visuals and fun music made up for it.

For starters, Repo is a musical. It takes place in nightmarish future where organ failure is at an all time high. An evil corporation called Geneco offers financing for organ transplant surgeries. The story centers around Shilo, played by Alexa Vega, who is the daughter of the repoman that comes to collect the organs when people can no longer make their payments. The Repoman is played by Anthony Head. Head delivers a solid performance. We really get to see his range in this film. In particular, there is one scene where he is repossesing a spine while talking on his holographic wrist phone with Shilo, reminding her of the importance of taking her medication. Here you have Head’s brutality as the repoman and his warmth as Shilo’s dad. Great acting by Head, great directing by Bousman.

Speaking of great acting, Paris Hilton is in this film. She plays Amber Sweet, the surgery addicted sister rounding out the tryfecta of evil children who belong to the head of the evil Genco. The other two siblings are played by Bill Mosely and Ogre from Skinny Puppy. Paris has clearly come a long way since her appearance in House of Wax. She fit very well into this operatic roll which lent itself to over acting. This is really what she should be looking to do more of. Another great fit was Bill Mosely. He was able to channel his Chop Top over acting into a new type of roll for him that worked really well. Ogre was under a lot of make up. It was hard for me to get a real sense of his acting ability. He seemed to be handling his slightly gay character pretty well. All three of these guys had a great chemistry together which I was not expecting.

Great performances aside one of the films strongest points are the sets and the costumes. My personal favorite costume was the Repoman’s. His mask with light up eyes was perfectly toped off with a head mirror. (that is what that reflective disk doctors used to wear on their heads is called). It was very Brazil type mix of future and past. It’s something that is lacking in recent nightmarish future films. My favorite set was definitely the graveyard where Shilo meets the Graverobber/drug dealer played by Terrance Zdunich. This set was another great combination of old and new with gothic type head stones surrounded by security cameras and signs that read, “Grave robbers will be executed on site.” There was a great sequence on this set where Shilo and Graverobber break through a wall will trying to escape some cemetary guards and end up in a subterranean room filled with corpses. You really get the feel that your in the future where there is a bubonic type plague happening.

Repo!’s strongest point has got to be the music. Terrance Zdunich not only played Graverobber but was also the composers and one of screenwriters. The music was absolutely awesome. My favorite song was Seventeen which Shilo sings as she is yelling at her father. While I was rocking out to this song, I thought, ” this song has a very “Bad Reputation” vibe to it”. Then Joan Jett appeared for a cameo playing guitar in Shilo’s bed room. Jett nods at Shilo almost to give her permission to rock out. I’d really like to know if she played guitar on the song.

My only problem with the film was it became incredibly convoluted in true operatic fashion. There was a story where The evil head of Genco loved Shilo’s mother but she married the Repoman so he killed her. Now he wanted Shilo to sing in his opera or something. There was a thing with Shilo’s Godmother who has special hologram eyes and he wanted the Repoman to reposes them. Story wise they lost me towards the end there. But all and all Repo! The Genetic Opera is way better than The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I hope it ultimately gets the cult following Rocky Horror has.

I don’t know why I like it. I guess I just do. I love professional wrestling. So I really love meeting professional wrestlers. My favorite happens to be the one who the Bad Kids root for, the sixteen time Heavyweight Champion of the world, Nature Boy Rick Flair. This guy made a career of sleeping with groupies and staying up all night drinking. He is truly a bad kid. My good friend Victor who is currently working for World Wrestling Entertainment was kind enough to invite me to the Ringsidefest wrestling convention in Times Square the day after Halloween. Victor was able to procure a pair of VIP passes.

I was up at 9:00AM and way hung over but I knew Flair probably hadn’t gone to sleep yet. If I was going to be one of the Horseman I had to tough it out. I made it over to Caroline’s on Broadway between 49th and 50th which was way classier than a gym or a Knights of Columbus, where they usually hold wrestling conventions. I met up with Vic and they gave us our passes. While we were waiting they put on Starcade 93 headlined by Ric Flair vs Vader for the WCW Heavyweight title.

Then we watched classic Flair promos from new WWE Flair DVD. In the middle of a promo Flair’s manager got on the mic and said Ric was ready to come out. The people in the audience begged him to let the promo end before they brought Ric out. When the promo concludes Ric comes out to his music. The entire audience is on their feet bowing to Flair. He in turns bows back to everyone. When the applause dies down Ric thanks everyone for coming and lets out a couple signature “wooo’s.” When I got to meet him he signed the wonderful photo I purchased from the merchandise table. I told him he was the greatest of all time and he shook my hand. He even flashed the Horseman sign when we posed for a photo. This made me the happiest boy in the world.

Now it was time for the Q&A. Sometimes these can be lame with wrestlers because they try to pretend that wrestling is real which is retarded. There would be none of that from Ric. He took everyone’s questions very seriously. My favorite question was about the “new generation” of up and coming talent. Ric was saying how he sees a great deal of potential in his younger son and he has taken a person interest in training him. He added that Ricky Steamboat was also training his own son. Maybe we’ll get Flair Steamboat version 2 down the road. At one point Ric was warned that time was running out “Don’t worry I’m going to answer all the questions.” Ric is a true class act. I will definitely come back to Ringsidefest next year. Since that is one year away I encourage everyone to go to their website and buy wrestling toys from them.

http://www.ringsidecollectibles.com